WHAT IS YOUR TRUTH?

I received a wonderful quote today that I want you to hold close to your heart. When we care for another, it is easy to forget who we are. Know this...

__________

"What is your truth? Ask your heart, your back, your bones, and your dreams. Listen to that truth with your whole body. Understand that this truth will destroy no one and that you’re too old to be sent to your room.

Move into your truth as though it were an old house. Walk through each room. See, hear, and feel what it is to live there. Try to love what you find, and remember the words that come to you as you explore.

If you embrace it, if you are faithful to it, your truth will reward you with unimaginable freedom and intimacy with yourself and others. You won’t land in a world made to order; some people in your life may not like what you write. But those who remain will be allies, people who breathe deeply and listen. It will feel good to be seen completely and loved as you are. As Natalie Goldberg said after her friend found and read a piece of work-in-progress that she had left out from the day’s writing, 'I feel good because I don’t care that she sees how I really am. I’m glad. I want someone to know me.'”

— John Lee from Writing from the Body, excerpted in Art as a Way of Life

THE DISEASE CALLED DENIAL

On Monday, I returned home from doing three book signings and a conference in Orlando, Florida. One of my book signings was in a Barnes & Noble where, over the course of two hours, I watched this scenario play out over and over again –

• consumer walks in door
• consumer sees table and poster announcing book signing
• consumer reads title of book, Hospital Stay Handbook
• consumer quickly looks away and make a beeline anywhere other than to my table.

This confirms what I discuss in my book, our culture is BIG TIME illness and death adverse. The only people who have engaged me in discussion over the last two years have been folks who have experienced a hospital stay. They want to know:

• did I do right by my patient?
• what else could I have done to support their health?
• what could I have done to keep myself together?
  

and they want to share space and understanding with someone who has been through the same challenges.

The problem with this approach is that there are many things that can and should be done PRIOR to any hospitalization! And, if you wait to learn about these things at the time hospitalization occurs, not only may it be too late but you, as an advocate, may not be in a calm place emotionally, due to the stress of caring for someone you love. Delaying "enlightenment" is typically not in anyone's best interest.

So, if you have not learned about what to expect during a hospitalization, do so now. Hospital Stay Handbook is a good place to start. If you have not taken the actions you need to take to protect yourself and your loved ones, do so now. Maintaining your equilibrium during hospitalization is much easier if you are prepared. Do yourself and your loved ones a favor, GET READY NOW! Don't perpetuate "the disease called denial..."

STRAIGHT TALK ON CAREGIVING AND SELF-CARE

No one ever taught me how to be a caregiver... I responded from my heart when my husband became ill and it served me well while he was hospitalized. The same response almost killed me when I returned home and spent the next five years helping him regain his strength and his life.

When people used to tell me to "take care of myself," I dismissed the thought. However, it is the best piece of advice I can offer in regards to caregiving. If you are willing and ready to place yourself first, then join me as we explore tactical methods of caregiving and self-care in the midst of one of life's greatest challenges. If you are not willing or ready to place yourself first, you have two choices:

• join me to learn about the price you will pay; or
• ignore this plea for your health and life and pay the price.
  

There really is no other choice. Know that I understand your decision. I've been there and made both choices, and paid the price for both choices. I make no judgment. Just remember, there are no "free lunches" in this life...

On this blog, we will explore recent medical advances, terminology, resources, legal information and coping strategies. Let's engage in dialog around what we know about caregiving. Whether your perspective is as a:

• paid professional;
• volunteer;
• loving family member;
• friend;- newcomer; or
• long time provider,
  

we have all adopted coping strategies" to assist us, some productive and some destructive. Understand that what we "know to do" at a "head" level often does not translate into action when it involves ourselves and those about whom we care. This is especially true for professionals who make their living giving care and then fail to care for themselves and apply what they know when the crisis comes home.

You are wise about what works for you in life. Share your wisdom with all of us as we struggle to hold onto ourselves while holding another in sickness and/or injury.